There’s a good chance I’m going to brag here a little, but I feel my husband deserves a little recognition in all of this. I wrote in my first post that if I have learned nothing else through all of this I have learned that I have a husband who literally loves me unconditionally. I know the blog has some followers who don’t know us, so I’ll tell you our story first.
I met Chris for the first time, unknowingly, in 2009. We were in each other’s presence, even ended up in the same photo together, but neither of us could remember meeting the other. We couldn’t even remember this picture. It wasn’t until we were dating 2 years later that my roommate at the time found the picture.
I obviously can’t claim love at first site, but I believe with all my heart & soul that we were truly meant to be together.
In January 2011 Chris started working in Baie Verte as a Paramedic. I was in my third year of nursing school at the time and both my parents were working at the hospital. I was headed back to Corner Brook one Aprilish day and stopped by the hospital to say goodbye to my parents. They were sitting around the cafeteria table with several other coworkers. Chris was one of them. I had spent summers working at the hospital and was familiar with everyone. Someone looked at me when I walked in the cafeteria and said, “Stefanie, this is Chris. He’s looking for a girlfriend.” This is no joke, my response was, “Well, it’s no good to look at me. I got a boyfriend.”
Pretty sure that was just a challenge for Chris. Unbeknownst to us, Chris was actually living in the apartment right next door to my parents. My soul mate was literally dropped in my backyard.
A couple months later my dad invited Chris over for some crab legs. All a part of his plan he claims . Flash forward.. Chris added me on Facebook, asked for my phone number, and we officially started dating in September 2011. Chris popped the big question in October 2012 and we said I do on August 16, 2013.
Anyone who knows us knows our first year of marriage was everything but easy. The first week of our marriage was spent packing up our belongings to move to PEI. Chris started the Advanced Care Paramedicine program in September 2013. He had a leave of absence from his job and I quit mine. I was his wife now and had to be fully supportive. After all he was 100% supportive of me in my last year of nursing school.
I made it 3 months and couldn’t hack it anymore. I wasn’t working, the days were long, and I missed my family. On top of that Chris’s mom and my pop were both going through treatments for cancer. I really needed to be home. We went home for Christmas and Chris completely supported me once again and allowed me to stay home. I went back to work on a casual basis which allowed me to be available for my family when they needed me. We went weeks and months on end not seeing other. That’s hard on any marriage, but was especially hard on our new marriage.
Things weren’t getting any better for our sick family members. Only worse. Chris was struggling with being away and trying to stay on top of school. We decided he would move home in May and do his final preceptorship in Corner Brook. That didn’t come easy. He needed somewhere to live in Corner Brook plus we had a lease on our apartment in PEI on my casual income. We were fortunate enough to find a sublet for our apartment and we found a room in CB. We could manage that.
Chris’s mom passed away in July 2014. With 3 months left to his program he had to muster up the courage to finish. He took a couple weeks off school and went back with more determination than ever. He graduated in October 2014. My pop passed away in March 2015. It was literally a year and a half of misery, but we came out on top. He worked like. a. dog and in June of 2016 started a pilot ACP program in Baie Verte. The first practicing ACP in Central. A great reward for the awful year we had punched even though it didn’t happen for another year and a half after he graduated.
Our life together & our marriage was just beginning. We decided to start a family in October 2014. We bought our first home in December 2014. We were ready to grow together, to raise a family, we survived this first year as tough as it was, and we knew we could handle anything.
What we didn’t know is that as hard physically, emotionally, and financially as the first year of marriage was, this infertility battle would be the hardest strain on our marriage, almost ripping us apart at times.
I have always known there was something special about Chris. He has a certain determination and zeal for life that I have never seen before. He doesn’t do something half way. He is committed wholeheartedly to everything in his life.
If Chris wasn’t the man that I was going through this life with, I would have probably fallen apart a long time ago, I would probably be divorced, and I would be a lot more bitter and angry than I am. Not a day goes by that I don’t say to myself, and sometimes out loud, that if he was married to someone else he could have had his family by now. If he was married to someone else he wouldn’t be stuck in Baie Verte where he feels he has no way to go forward. When I say things like this he is always quick to tell me that I’m ridiculous, and that he wouldn’t want to be going through this life with anyone other than me (and let’s face it.. I am not the easiest person in the world to be with.. and the hormones just make it worse.) I know it takes a lot of patience, a lot of deep breaths, a lot of eye rolling (which I taught him), and a whole lot of love to live with me.
I have had some dark days. I have had some angry times. I have spent many, many days contrary for most likely no reason. I have had a lot of doubts. I cry millions of tears. I have made my way to the spare bed more than one night. I have slammed many doors. I have stopped saying I love you. I have left the house. I have screamed. I have pretty well done it all. I am far from deserving of the kind of love Chris has, but he loves me anyway.
Chris has never walked out on me. Chris has never stopped telling me that he loves me. Chris has yelled at me to give up my foolishness. Chris has never let me sleep in that spare bed alone. Chris has dried my tears. Chris has shooed away all my doubts. Chris has straightened my hair when I just didn’t have what it took. I haven’t paid to have my eyebrows done in years because Chris does them (don’t tell me if they’re awful). Chris puts nail polish on my toes. He ties my shoes. He scratches my back every single night even when I know he just wants to sleep. Chris has never stopped loving me, even when I have made it incredibly hard.
I know I rag on Chris a lot. I know I post a lot of silly photos of Chris & make fun, but if you haven’t noticed 9 times out of 10 he poses for my pictures. Chris is the definition of humor and fun. He is outgoing. He is dedicated. He is helpful. He thinks about everyone else before himself. He will literally run no matter the hour of the night for someone who needs him. He listens to all of my crazy ideas & will do everything in his power to see my hopes and dreams come true. He will not slack until I am laughing and smiling. He is one of the most selfless people I know. He is everything I am not, and he keeps us balanced. I am so thankful to God every single for giving me this man. I don’t know why God felt I was deserving of Chris, but He definitely knew I would need him to keep me level and sane.
Chris, I can’t imagine ever going through this life with anyone other than you. You are the earthly light in my darkest days. You are my earthly angel. You are everything I need and more besides. I know I don’t express how truly grateful I am for you nearly enough. You have gotten me through my deepest valleys and you have celebrated with me at all the high points. You have loved me when I have been unlovable. You have never left my side. You tolerate all my quirks and eyerolls. You are seriously one of a kind. Even though every single thought you have finds it way out of your mouth and drives me crazy, I love you from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. You are my best friend. We have built a crazy wonderful life together, and even through the sadness we have the happiest memories too. There is no one else I could ever imagine by my side.
Thank you for everything you have given me, everything you do for me, everything you are. Thank you for always pushing me to be the best I can be, and encouraging me to never give up on myself. Thank you for never giving up on us.
I will love you until there is no life left in me.